so far, only two injuries have been reported from the bouquet toss gone wrong.

now, i know that trying to catch the bouquet can always be dangerous. there are always those desperate, single forty somethings who are willing to throw ‘bows just to be the next chick to get married. then there are the other injuries. i swear, at the last wedding my cousin kiki nearly tore a hamstring dashing across the parkay dance floor to catch the bouquet. now, there’s another bridal danger we must be wary of before even getting to the cake: the falling plane at the reception.

this girl obviously didn’t have a latin mother. i tried to stroll into my house during high school with a new ear piercing. my mother all but tore it out with her bare hands. she literally whipped out a pair of pliers (who knows where she had those stashed) and said i could take it out my self or have it ripped it out. needless to say, the barbell was out in a flash.

that’s why i’m so confused about this whole scenario where two adults are trying to force a teenager to stick with her tacky piercing in spite of the infection. maybe they were angry that they had sprung for the 40 dollar ring at the piercing pagoda at the local mall and weren’t going to get their money’s worth? i’m only guessing.

new yorker sheena matheiken has vowed to wear the same outfit for 365 days. she started the uniform project last month as a plan to raise money for charity. you can donate to matheiken’s cause, the akanksha foundation here. the program benefits education programs for underprivileged children.

matheiken, above, plans on wearing the same black dress for the next year and chronicling her looks on her website while mixing it all up with different accessories each day.

though i could never do it (some days i want to rock a dress and some pumps, some days i want to wear a burlap sack), i’m totally behind this idea. it’s awesome that a) she’s doing something for charity in some capacity, and b) has the imagination to come up with a new way to rock a simple black dress for a whole year. after this year is over, sheena, can you come dress me?

UPDATE: note that you can (and should!) donate directly to akanksha through the uniform project website here.

wow. after a full minute of this sheer amazing-ness, i had to literally pick my jaw up off the floor. to me, the most offensive part of this madness is not the fact that they are literally using the word “titty” to market a product, but that they are peddling this crap for a full fifteen dollars. that is two (maybe three!) taco bell meals. how offensive. if you find yourself in need of this product, please contact me, because for the low price of two dollars i will duct tape one of my old beanie babies to your seatbelt and call it a day.

this amazing video was brought to my attention by @cwrite101, whose amazing blog you can visit here.

ugh. this is frustrating. why does this old coot get to win nearly one million dollars and i literally paid for my morning coffee in nickels? he will die before he even gets to spend this amount of money! the only slightly redeeming part of this story is the fact that his last name is fritz. gives a whole new connotation to when his wife says she’s “on the fritz,” doesn’t it?

a new york couple were married above the gulf of mexico in a zero gravity environment. the duo is the first pair to experience a weightless wedding, held on a modified boeing aircraft. the bride’s hair was held together with wire and the groom’s tuxedo tails were starched beyond belief so they wouldn’t flap around during the actual wedding.

now this is an original idea. i appreciate the effort of these folks trying their cool and different hats on, but i’m not about to jump on board with this theme. i would prefer to be covertly flirting with the cute guy in the next pew during the reading from corinthians than to be floating in midair. there’s no way to hide your giggles back when you realize that the maid of honor has visible panty lines if you’re floating upside down inches from the bridal party. just. plain. awkward. i vote no.

so ferocious was the attack that the victim claims his attacker bit through his shirt. the man, mihai nicoara, promises to put a little pep in his step when crossing the street in the future.

whoa, and i thought i had some bad road rage! this driver totally tops me and the penny wars i’ve gotten into on the turnpike. now what confounds me in this situation is what would possess someone to bite down on the beer gut of some hairy stranger that one doesn’t even know? how angry would you have to be? i don’t have the answers, people. i’m just asking the questions.

peralta started this project as a way to help people get rid of some stress during their daily commute.

in all seriousness, i love this idea! there have been many moments where i’ve been ready to cut someone on a stressful crosstown cab ride. it would be awesome to have someone put a pad and pen in my hand and tell me to doodle my cares away. plus, i love people that take the time to make ordinary activities into something artistic, no matter how small. i’m totally putting my snarkiness away for this post and celebrating my boy fabio!

wowza! can’t believe i’ve missed this news gem. apparently, a 29 year old man from tennessee, desmond hatchett, has fathered 21 children with 11 different women. not surprisingly, our fertile friend was in court recently hammering out the deets of the child support he must pay to the many women.

the best part? because this virile fellow only earns minimum wage, by the time his measly check is split up between all his baby mamas, some of the children receive less than two bucks per month. after some google-ing, i’ve discovered that two dollars will get you approximately four diapers. hooray for this country’s legal system!

now this man is obviously a damn fool who doesn’t know how to wrap it up, but what i want to know is what were these 11 chicks thinking???? if a man told me he had 20 other children, i would not even let him cough near me for fear of getting pregnant! why were they not using some protection when dealing with this deadbeat? just steal some condoms from your local planned parenthood like the rest of us!

all i know is that money better not be coming out of my check to deal with this tomfoolery. good day.

meme roth, an uws mother is waging war on her two children’s public school over ice pops and cupcakes. she has been freaking out about the treats distributed to her kids on holidays, birthdays or other special occasions. as a strong advocate against the obesity epidemic in this country, she claims that these unhealthy snacks are threatening her children’s safety.

homegirl is hoping to get the school to have parents to sign permission slips for any food that is not part of the official school lunch. this is the same woman that had to have the police called on her for stealing the fudge and sprinkles at a ymca ice cream table.

i’m sorry, but having to see your mom questioned by police for stealing some ice cream toppings is less harmful to your health than just eating the damn sundae??? all i’m saying is these children will be thin, beautiful, with arteries as clean as a whistle, but forced to go to years of therapy in their future because of this chick’s crazy antics. yes, our country has an obesity epidemic, but going to extremes never helped anyone, much less will help these children to help make choices in the future when their meals aren’t pre-planned by their school.

all i’m saying, is a cupcake never killed anyone. you can read more about ms. roth’s theories here.