this is why i go to the bar during the bouquet toss

a recent italian wedding had a bouquet toss that was even more awkward than usual. after the bridal party tried to launch the bouquet from a hovering plane, the floral arrangement got caught in the aircraft’s rear rotor and brought the whole shebang down.

so far, only two injuries have been reported from the bouquet toss gone wrong.

now, i know that trying to catch the bouquet can always be dangerous. there are always those desperate, single forty somethings who are willing to throw ‘bows just to be the next chick to get married. then there are the other injuries. i swear, at the last wedding my cousin kiki nearly tore a hamstring dashing across the parkay dance floor to catch the bouquet. now, there’s another bridal danger we must be wary of before even getting to the cake: the falling plane at the reception.

my family would’ve ripped it OUT

a teenage girl in pennsylvania was assaulted by two members of her family for trying to take out her navel piercing after she realized it was infected. one of her relatives held her down, while the other tried to put the piercing back in. both adults were charged with assault after the attack.

this girl obviously didn’t have a latin mother. i tried to stroll into my house during high school with a new ear piercing. my mother all but tore it out with her bare hands. she literally whipped out a pair of pliers (who knows where she had those stashed) and said i could take it out my self or have it ripped it out. needless to say, the barbell was out in a flash.

that’s why i’m so confused about this whole scenario where two adults are trying to force a teenager to stick with her tacky piercing in spite of the infection. maybe they were angry that they had sprung for the 40 dollar ring at the piercing pagoda at the local mall and weren’t going to get their money’s worth? i’m only guessing.